Don’t Order Your Liquor Online
AND
Don’t Have It Delivered.
Yep, you read that right. Among the many things that you don’t do today, make ordering your liquor online and getting free delivery one of them.
Why? Because it’s too easy, and life isn’t supposed to be easy.
Something good and desired needs to be earned, and it’s earned through hard work.
Online ordering and delivery – that’s not hard.
It’s cheating.
Think of your health.
You probably need to get out, move around a little more a little more often.
Most of us do.
This could be your exercise for the day.
You walk out to your car, open the door, slide in, turn the key, spin the wheel, push gas and brake pedals, stop, lift yourself out of your car, walk inside the store and back carrying your beer, wine, liquor, and whatever else you purchase.
In the store, you bully your way through aisles of people, most of whom go out of their way to get in your way.
You fight on.
A bump here, an elbow there, and the occasional swear word slipping from your mouth. Then, as a reward for your physical exertion, you get to stand in line.
Returning home, you perform the same physically demanding things you did while going to your favorite liquor store.
Then, you enter your domicile, open, and pour your drink. Sip. Or guzzle. And swallow.
If you’re paying attention, you’ve realized that by not using your smartphone to order your liquor online from your favorite liquor store, you’ve actually received the benefit of a workout.
A strenuous one.
You’ve worked your quads, hamstrings, calves, forearms, bi and triceps, lats, butt, pecs, shoulders, and hands.
If you were creative, you figured a way to also work your traps.
That’s darn near a full-body workout without having to go to the gym!
Imagine that – by picking up and drinking your favorite adult beverage, you’ve actually put in a full-body workout.
All in the pursuit of liquor.
All because you put in the effort and earned it.
This is how drinking can be good for you.
But Let’s Say You Want to Take the Easy Way.
You don’t need a workout (self-deceit is dangerous, be careful).
You don’t need drinking to be good for you.
You don’t want to earn it.
You seek a life of ease.
You want convenience.
You need to feel catered to.
You’re important.
Okay.
Here’s what you need to know.
Remember, though, by choosing this option, you’re putting your health at greater risk.
There are several ways to order online, and you can choose to have your liquor delivered, or you can pick it up.
You’ll probably choose delivery, it better suits people like you.
But if you pick it up, you’ll still get the benefit of a partial workout.
Keep that in mind.
And your order will be waiting for you at the counter – some stores will have it ready for curbside pickup.
That’s convenient.
You can order your liquor – or beer, wine, near-beer, or licorice – from a store near you or from one almost anywhere in the U.S.
Ordering liquor from the store near you has its advantages.
The biggest one is that you can have your liquor delivered today, not next week.
Open your favorite liquor store app to place your order.
Our favorite one is Bottle Rover.
It should be your favorite, too.
Peruse the inventory.
Place your order.
Earn rewards points.
Sit your lazy butt back and wait for your delivery.
Some locations will even deliver for free.
The delivery, not the liquor.
Your liquor order will arrive soon.
To your home, your pool, your friend’s party, your pontoon, your yacht, or your moped.
You specify how and where you want your precious liquor cargo delivered.
That’s it. Nice and easy and unhealthy.
But who needs health when you can order the necessities of life – liquor included – from your phone and have it delivered?
Not you.
Tops down, Bottoms up, Cheers!
