Delivered Wine is the Most Special Delivery of All.
Delivery.
It’s an exciting word.
Something is on its way. To you, hopefully.
Add special to delivery, and the imagination goes wild.
What’s being delivered to me?
I know I’ll love it, whatever it is, but what could it be?
I mean, it’s gotta be something ridiculous.
It’s a delivery – a special delivery.
Kind of like that leg lamp the dad received in A Christmas Story.
Remember how excited he was?
He tore the box open – carefully – because it was marked fragile or fra-gi-le to him.
And proudly displayed it in the window, turning it on for all to admire and envy.
A special delivery that is still enjoyed every Christmas season by legions of A Christmas Story lunatics. (My daughter is one of these.)
This was a special delivery that keeps on giving.
Santa used to make deliveries.
The Easter Bunny, too.
Peeps, colored and candy eggs, jellybeans, chocolate bunnies.
On Halloween, some of us would make special deliveries to homes that wouldn’t open their doors and add to our candy-laden pillowcases.
They’d receive things like eggs splattered on their house, soap on the windows, maybe lines of wax on the screen door.
Little pleasantries that said, “thanks for nothing, asshole. See you next year.”
Those were special times with many special deliveries. Some expected. Some unwanted.
But wait.
Just because we’re older doesn’t mean the deliveries have to end.
They just become more adult in nature.
Even if the adults are immature by nature.
We’re not talking about deliveries like that midnight knock at your door.
Although that could certainly be classified as special. Even extraordinary.
We’re talking wine. W I N E.
That’s right, wine delivered to your door – or your bed if the delivery person is a special delivery person.
Wine that you ordered online using the wine ordering app on your smartphone. (BTW -the smartest phones use the Bottle Rover app.)
Wine that you ordered from a liquor store near you.
Or one not so near if the near one isn’t your favorite liquor store.
The thing is, once you go online, you’ll discover there may be several stores nearby that can deliver your wine.
Choices, baby.
And your delivery may be (probably will be) free – depending on a few variables and how much you’re liked and appreciated as a customer.
Question – Are you your favorite liquor store’s favorite customer? It’s something worth finding out.
Maybe you need some fresh air and want to pick your wine up.
That works too.
Still, order it online first.
Then go.
You can have your wine waiting at the counter, so you can skip the hassle of shopping and bumping into the idiot masses of people.
That’s a little empowering.
Or you can have it delivered to your car curbside.
Even more empowering.
And wine drinkers need to feel empowered.
Because that’s the type of person who drinks wine.
Not those who have power, but those who need to feel empowered.
There’s a difference.
And it ain’t all that subtle.
Stew on it a bit.
While unstewed, of course.
What color’s your favorite wine?
Red? White? Orange? Pea-green?
Most choose red or white.
These are the most popular car colors, too.
Favorite wine?
Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, Sauvignon, Zinfandel, Merlot?
Michelob Ultra?
Boone’s Farm?
If you’re not sure, order a couple of each.
From your nearby wine and liquor store.
For delivery or pickup.
For you and your special friend(s).
For a night of romance.
Or at a concert in the mountains with friends.
Or for after Yoga on the beach.
In Northern California. Or Austin. Or Lake Tahoe. Or Greenwich, Connecticut.
Or Naples, Florida.
Or Santa Claus, Illinois.
Or in Bushwhacker, Texas.
You can get your wine delivered in most places from most places in the U.S.
All you have to do is open your app, search the inventory, and order.
It’s that easy.
Unless you’re from Soda Springs, Idaho.
Then it’s more challenging because they still don’t know what a smartphone is.
And what they don’t know don’t exist.
And that makes life just a little easier for them.
And now, a few words from my favorite UB40 song:
Red, red wine, you make me feel so fine,
You keep me rockin’ all of the time.
Red, red wine, you make me feel so grand,
I feel a million dollars when you’re just in my hand.
Red, red wine, you make me feel so sad,
Any time I see you go, it makes me feel bad.
Cheers!
